How do you fix broken?... Part 2
Here I am two days after my meltdown. Two days after I let my grief surface, I let my anger come out, and cried for about two hours. Life is not all that bleak anymore, I am smiling and laughing. I am not over it, but I am starting to heal. Here are some things that have helped deal with my burden:
1, Do not bury the feelings - After I was molested, I tried to go on as nothing happened, I focused on my duties at home, at work. But I was angry, grumpy, taking it out on my husband for ridiculous reasons that usually do not bother me. Then almost two weeks later, just seeing a list of good things about me, written out of love, made me snap. I broke down. I let everything surface. I went to my lowest. I did not believe there was anything good left of me as I let all those negative feeling overcome me. I cried for two hours, and wrote all my feelings in a blog post. I was home alone (well, with the girls, but they were asleep) I needed a way to let it out. So I wrote... and I was expecting everyone to agree with my twisted, dark feelings. Then the next thing happened...
2. Let those who know you love you. I saw I had 'my village'. I hear this expression when referring to raising children. I used to think that 'the village' is for the baby, but now I see is for the mother. To be there to love, encourage, support the mother (and father) to raise the child. But I think 'the village' is for everyone. We cannot make it through this life happy and strong without our 'village', without friends, without our loved ones. I received so much support in the past 2 days! Messages of encouragement, messages of love, even a pamper box! I wouldn't have thought people would still love me! And I still feel a bit uncomfortable that people are here for me... Those who know me know I am a stubborn independent person who wouldn't ask for help! Who can fight anything! Side note - I just saw a movie where someone said "What you see as being independent sounds more to me like being isolated". Anyway, I am trying to let people be here for me. Because I do need it! All I need is a smile, a "you're my friend". It saddens me to think there are many more women out there who have gone through something similar and may be afraid to share what they feel, or maybe they don't have loved ones and friends like I do.
3 Immerse yourself in positive thoughts. Yesterday I found a few lines that made me smile! Made me see the light. The gospel of Jesus Christ surely brings light! Here are a few quotes:
1, Do not bury the feelings - After I was molested, I tried to go on as nothing happened, I focused on my duties at home, at work. But I was angry, grumpy, taking it out on my husband for ridiculous reasons that usually do not bother me. Then almost two weeks later, just seeing a list of good things about me, written out of love, made me snap. I broke down. I let everything surface. I went to my lowest. I did not believe there was anything good left of me as I let all those negative feeling overcome me. I cried for two hours, and wrote all my feelings in a blog post. I was home alone (well, with the girls, but they were asleep) I needed a way to let it out. So I wrote... and I was expecting everyone to agree with my twisted, dark feelings. Then the next thing happened...
2. Let those who know you love you. I saw I had 'my village'. I hear this expression when referring to raising children. I used to think that 'the village' is for the baby, but now I see is for the mother. To be there to love, encourage, support the mother (and father) to raise the child. But I think 'the village' is for everyone. We cannot make it through this life happy and strong without our 'village', without friends, without our loved ones. I received so much support in the past 2 days! Messages of encouragement, messages of love, even a pamper box! I wouldn't have thought people would still love me! And I still feel a bit uncomfortable that people are here for me... Those who know me know I am a stubborn independent person who wouldn't ask for help! Who can fight anything! Side note - I just saw a movie where someone said "What you see as being independent sounds more to me like being isolated". Anyway, I am trying to let people be here for me. Because I do need it! All I need is a smile, a "you're my friend". It saddens me to think there are many more women out there who have gone through something similar and may be afraid to share what they feel, or maybe they don't have loved ones and friends like I do.
3 Immerse yourself in positive thoughts. Yesterday I found a few lines that made me smile! Made me see the light. The gospel of Jesus Christ surely brings light! Here are a few quotes:
On that Friday, the Saviour of mankind was humiliated and bruised. But then Sunday came. I think of how dark that Friday was when Christ was lifted up on the cross. On that terrible Friday the earth shook and grew dark. But the doom of that day did not endure. The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Saviour of all mankind.
Each of us will have our own Fridays, those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.
But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death, Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, in this life or the next, Sunday will come - Joseph Wirthlin
4. Find your music. I wrote that I cannot sing this one away. But I can make my days brighter with music for sure. And here are some that made me sing and laugh:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogJv49yaDS4
5. Help others - even if the only ones within your reach is your children. They need help too, a lot of it! :D Look forward with hope, work with your heart open, and love! Keep loving, and that will start replacing fear and doubt and anger :)
6. Do NOT give the offender any more thoughts, he doesn't deserve to live in your mind. Kick him out! Do not let him take any more of your time and energy!
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