Days of Eni's life

You know how life has ups and downs, right? Have you ever felt you are in a storm and the wind keeps freezing you as you try to move forward? Well,  I had had that feeling for a while, and it wore my spirit off. During all that, I made the mistake of not turning to the Lord, and try to do it all on my own. What did that lead to?I lost something inside my heart, there was something missing. I decided to get it back. I really missed that feeling of peace, of communion with God. So I started reading a bit from the scriptures, pray a bit more, but I did not feel the difference.... until Sunday morning. I woke up, aching and tired, and I started the day by saying a very heartfelt and sincere prayer, asking for help to feel the Holy Ghost again with me, to feel that peace again. I felt that it wasn't enough to pray, so I read the lesson for Relief Society for that day. It was a lesson from the Prophet Joseph Fielding Smith, a lesson about the Prophet Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum...

I know, the title looks silly...especially that my thoughts are random, but they came after a series of events. I've been working hard lately on preparing for EFY, and helping with the planning of the international YSA Conference that will be held in Hungary this year. I also tried to keep up with my local church responsibilities - teaching Institute classes, helping the YSAs become more active in the faith. I have to admit that I love being busy, but sometimes (and this weekend was one of those times) I feel like the more I try to get things right, the more I see my weaknesses. I have no idea why, but I see my flaws, my shortcomings, and my weaknesses. I start feeling like I am not the right person for this, that I have too many things to change in my life. And I get overwhelmed, I get scared, I get discouraged. I still don't give up on things because I have my pride - do everything I can to finish everything I get started on. Anyway, I was asked to teach Sunday School th...

This why is more of a learning experience, one that changed at least the next six months of my life, and my view on life. I know a lot of you got so tired of hearing about me "still looking for a job", "no job", or other form of complaint. I had many people tell me to go back to OMV, but I didn't feel like it. Ex-coworkers, my mom, some friends... all telling me that a job at the gas station was better than no job at all, especially since winter is close, and it's expensive to make it through it. I kept praying for a job, to know where I could find something, and yet no answer. Three weeks ago I had an interview at a factory, but the work-salary ratio was ridiculous, so I told them I would only go work there if they had a job in the office, on the computer. They told me they would call me back. Two days later, they called me to go back to an interview, but for the same position, so I turned them down. I kept praying for guidance, all the answers from my ...