Days of Eni's life

Here I am two days after my meltdown. Two days after I let my grief surface, I let my anger come out, and cried for about two hours. Life is not all that bleak anymore, I am smiling and laughing. I am not over it, but I am starting to heal. Here are some things that have helped deal with my burden: 1, Do not bury the feelings - After I was molested, I tried to go on as nothing happened, I focused on my duties at home, at work. But I was angry, grumpy, taking it out on my husband for ridiculous reasons that usually do not bother me. Then almost two weeks later, just seeing a list of good things about me, written out of love, made me snap. I broke down. I let everything surface. I went to my lowest. I did not believe there was anything good left of me as I let all those negative feeling overcome me. I cried for two hours, and wrote all my feelings in a blog post. I was home alone (well, with the girls, but they were asleep) I needed a way to let it out. So I wrote... and I was expecti...

   A while ago, my manager asked me if I could help him organize an activity for his scouts group, who are supposed to learn about a different faith. Since the Preston temple stands out around here, he thought it would be great to learn about it. Last night was the night!    While preparing for it, almost everything went wrong: those who promised to help me dropped last minute (luckily last minute meant the night before), then I couldn't find the material that I wanted to use, and 4 hours before the activity I had no clue what it would be like. My manager told me that he wouldn't be there, but that other Scouts leaders would bring the kids. I was asked to prepare a 45 minute activity for 10 children, 8 year old boys and girls. Finally I found somebody to help, one of the YSA girls in our ward.    Things started working last minute: my printer worked, I found coloured paper, my friend was very smart and kind, and the stake centre was ready for us!  ...

My online store is  http://www.lulu.com/ spotlight/eniko How did I get to this? Here it is: Most of you know by now that last year, at the YSA Convention in Hungary I met a wonderful man, and I moved to Preston, England (he is Hungarian, but he has been living here for over 3 years) so that we could be closer. On the 6th of December he proposed - you can read about it here  http:// eniscrazylife.blogspot.co.u k/2012/12/ the-perfect-proposal.html We want to get married as soon as possible, but we have an obstacle  standing in our way: money. Since I don't have a job yet, I have been feeling very frustrated. I spent time thinking about my skills and what I can do to make some money - my list of things I want to buy for the wedding is long (dress, shoes, veil, flower bouquet, plane tickets for my parents, ...) and these are not cheap! Finally, I resorted to the Internet. I found a way to publish a collection of poems that I have written along the years (paper or e-book), ...

It was the morning of the 6th of December, in our room at the gorgeous Copthorne Hotel Gatwick  . (we were staying there with his mum, sister, and 3 friends of theirs) The plan for that morning was breakfast at 9 o'clock with everyone, then Peter, Monika, Angelina and me would go visit London, which was 36 miles away. We previously decided to leave at 10. It was 8:30 am, and we were getting ready for breakfast. During the night, Saint Nick dropped some candies in Peter's shoes, but he skipped mine... maybe he decided we were sharing anyway. Peter, with a big smile on his face, went to talk to Monika, only to tell me 5 minutes later that we had to run to the Pharmacy to get some kind of cream or lotion. Since we had the smaller car and we were dressed, it made sense that we should be the ones going. Peter told me he had to go, then asked me if I wanted to go with him. This type of question always gets the same answer: yes. So, without even looking in the mirror, or without e...

Being back from EFY helped me feel how much I changed during that week. One of the things is having the desire to write again :D I'm back to my nice morning walks when I can enjoy the quiet and coolness of the morning. I had many thoughts running through my head, and for some weird reason, I started thinking of funny movies - like Shrek :) Then my thoughts jumped to Puss in Boots. It made me giggle. But I did not start thinking of Puss, but of the Egg. Have you watched the movie? If not, you must watch it! What started going through my head is how the Egg, even from the time he was little, was trying to find the magic bean that would take him to the giant's castle up in the clouds where he would find the goose that lays golden eggs. He made a good friend, who tried to keep him out of trouble, but Egg thought he knew better. He picks wrong friends and he even ends up in prison! After he is released, he goes to his old friend, somehow convinces him that he changed over time,...

I know, the title looks silly...especially that my thoughts are random, but they came after a series of events. I've been working hard lately on preparing for EFY, and helping with the planning of the international YSA Conference that will be held in Hungary this year. I also tried to keep up with my local church responsibilities - teaching Institute classes, helping the YSAs become more active in the faith. I have to admit that I love being busy, but sometimes (and this weekend was one of those times) I feel like the more I try to get things right, the more I see my weaknesses. I have no idea why, but I see my flaws, my shortcomings, and my weaknesses. I start feeling like I am not the right person for this, that I have too many things to change in my life. And I get overwhelmed, I get scared, I get discouraged. I still don't give up on things because I have my pride - do everything I can to finish everything I get started on. Anyway, I was asked to teach Sunday School th...

I created a Mormon.org profile. It talks a bit about my faith, so here is the link(click on the picture):

I took a break from writing - what a shame! But here I am again, trying to share with you the best event of this year....so far. And that is, I mean was, since it happened during the last week of July, the international YSA Convention  :D It took place in Oradea, and we had people from 11 countries participate. Being my first convention of its type, I had nothing else to compare it with. So all I have to say is that I enjoyed it - I enjoyed being the photographer, which gave me the chance to be around everyone, annoy everyone and get away with it, and get over my anxiety of being in big crowds.  I sent an article to the Ensign and the Liahona (I was the assigned media representative) , but I don't think they will publish it. So I will share it with you here. It's a bit long, but I hope you'll enjoy it :)                 CENTRAL EUROPEAN YSA CONVENTION - "HE SHALL DIRECT THY PATHS" Tuesday morning in Oradea, a city in Romania tha...

I don't know how to put this into words... it might sound a bit ridiculous... here I go! I got home from my mission almost two years ago. I went from being actively involved in teaching the gospel, amazing scripture studies, powerful spiritual experiences, to being a shadow in my branch, not getting that deep into my studies, rarely feeling the power of the Holy Ghost. It was my fault, not trying harder when I started work and school again. I kept going though, with ups and downs, but I was getting so tired, so worn out. I kept praying for strength, for friends to talk to about the gospel. I felt alone. I don't know what I expected God to do to help me. I looked for ways to change the situation: I went to Utah to be with those friends I served my mission with. While there, I made regular temple trips which helped me see the big picture. It was a great period in my life, when I learned more about finding balance in my busy life. But that trip ended after 10 weeks, when I retu...

I just got home from Institute. I love those lessons, they always make me want to become a better person. Sora Howells taught a very good lesson on The Plan Of Salvation. It gave me a lot of things to ponder upon. I was happy to have Andra there also because she always asks the right questions. But I was sad to see so many empty chairs. To be honest, it wears you out a bit when you are the only one going to Institute, which leads me to my impression on the New Years party. It was great walking in their meetinghouse, and seeing their YSA Center panel filled with posters and announcements. It was even better seeing how many young adults get involved. It was a great feeling of belonging - belonging to something bigger than just the group in my branch, but to the worldwide YSA group. They have the same trials as we do. They have to make Institute a priority just like we do. and they have fun just like we do. They learn and grow in their faith just like we do over here. Yes, we are sm...

LA MULTI ANI! Happy New Year! Boldog Uj Ev! This is my first post this year, I'd better make it good! I had the best New Year's Party. I am so glad I chose t do something a bit crazy this time - go to Szeged (Hungary).  Why do I say "crazy"? 1. I went by myself 2. I thought I spoke Hungarian fairly well, but I wasn't ready for how fast they speak there, for how they tie their words together, and it feels like one sentence is one word 3. I get out of my comfort zone VERY seldom I needed something crazy in my life, I needed to get away from the stress of work. I got at the point where I was too stressed, and I was feeling a bit down, not knowing what I was doing with my life. So I said "Yes" to the invitation of celebrating New Years in Szeged with many other YSA from Hungary. I am dead tired now. Do I regret anything? No! Did I like it? No- I LOVED it. One reason why I loved it is because I am getting a bit worn out of standing tall and strong...

Today I was too tired at church. I was supposed to translate for the senior couple for all three hours, but after sacrament meeting, my brain was fried. We had Sunday school with Sora Mogos, and to be honest, it felt good to enjoy a lesson without having to translate (I asked Elder Wirthlin to do it). We had a lesson about Jesus Christ, and we all shared what we knew about Him, and tried to learn from each other. At one point, we started talking about the atonement. As we were talking, I started understanding something about Jesus Christ that I knew before, but didn't really comprehend it, it only sunk in today. It started while talking about the greatest commandment in the scriptures: to love God with all our heart, and our fellow men as ourselves. I thought about him leading the people of Israel in the old days (the old testament times).I thought about his life, the miracles he performed. I thought of his sacrifice. I thought of him leading the church today. Why has he done ...