Happiness...

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I haven't written anything in a long time. Partly, because I have been very busy with working 50 hours a week, and taking a lot of tests. But I am done with finals! I passed, and survived the calvary. what was I thinking when I decided not to attend classes? I have to admit that the time spent in Orem was well worth the effort.

These past couple of weeks, I have been very stressed, and I have become very frustrated with everything:work, school, personal life... nothing was peaceful, and I couldn't find my peace and joy. So I started eating more chocolate, but that didn't help me(except my love handles)... then I started watching movies, but very soon I got bored...  I started spending more and more time on facebook, which wasn't all that fun after a while.
Pretty soon, I was beating myself up over any little thing that was out of my control. When had I become that angry, frustrated, unhappy person? Where was the happy Eni I used to be?

Yesterday I cleaned my room. It was a mess! (I'm very ashamed of it!) Surprisingly, guess what I found under the bed? My scriptures! And they were dusty! What???? That was a first! Then I found my study journal... in a bag in my suitcase!!! Reluctantly, I opened the Book of Mormon, and I read a little...and I smiled :) then i looked over some older notes, and the smile got wider :D  I realized that I hadn't prayed in over two weeks, so I got on my knees and prayed... and I felt peace. It felt so different, so good, but I felt it like slap form God, telling me :"I hope you snap out of your lazy ways! You see how I'm always here for you, so you should look me up more often!"...and then a huge hug :D That determined me to fast (it has been a while...a year, more or less...) Today at church everyone looked like they were carrying the heaviest burden, and they wouldn't smile! So I went up to bear my testimony, cause I felt my face was just as "happy" as theirs. As I started bearing my testimony, I felt like God was actually teaching me. I talked of things that can make us happy even when everything is wrong in our lives. I talked about scripture study and prayer, how we have to live our testimonies not just bear them. And I felt and knew right then that was the key to happiness: living what you know to be true and good.

President Ursu bore testimony after me, and he said that he had read somewhere that 10% of our life is made of things we cannot control, while the 90% consists of the way we react to those things. It is so true! Do we stay sad and frustrated just because things didn't go the way we planned them, or will we think and work for those things that make us truly happy?  I say let us be happy, choose to be happy!

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