Pensive mood...
Tonight I have been in a very different mood than the rest of the nights that I had to spend at work. Usually, I'd get frustrated with my coworker, I'd be grumpy, and wear a fake smile on my face.
Tonight, there's something different about me. Maybe because of my two braids?...or the Donkey tag I have to wear over my name tag (Donkey, My love :D)...But I think it is because I've been back on a Book of Mormon reading schedule... I hope so, because I want to be this smiling girl all of the time!
Being more calm and happier wasn't the only change in tonight's mood, but also some crazy ideas that came to my mind. Here's one that distracted me for a second, and stuck with me. Introductory story: my mom called me to tell me that she was coming to Arad on Sunday to be here with me for my degree exam. I love her so much, and I am so happy that she thought of it! Unfortunately, I will have to work Sunday night and Monday night. She decided to come and spend the night at OMV with me. So here's my thought: what would my boss tell my mom about me? What would the people I work with tell her? would she be proud of me, or ashamed with me? I always wanted my parents to be proud of me, so I wonder: have I been living every moment in a way that will bring their respect?
To go a bit further with this: when my life will end, and I will face my Heavenly father, will people tell him good things about me, would they defend me, or testify against me? Would i be able to keep my head up, and smile?
Reading the scriptures daily, praying daily, and staying for church services for three hours seem like very little things, sometimes overlooked in our rush to get our problems solved, or get our rest. We try to keep the seemingly bigger commandments, and soon get frustrated, tired, and weary. Then we start doing the little things, and the big things just fall into place, while we are filled with peace, and joy, and we can stand with our heads up, not ashamed of anything.
It's 2 AM, of course I'd be talking so much about nothings, so I should say :"Good night"
Being more calm and happier wasn't the only change in tonight's mood, but also some crazy ideas that came to my mind. Here's one that distracted me for a second, and stuck with me. Introductory story: my mom called me to tell me that she was coming to Arad on Sunday to be here with me for my degree exam. I love her so much, and I am so happy that she thought of it! Unfortunately, I will have to work Sunday night and Monday night. She decided to come and spend the night at OMV with me. So here's my thought: what would my boss tell my mom about me? What would the people I work with tell her? would she be proud of me, or ashamed with me? I always wanted my parents to be proud of me, so I wonder: have I been living every moment in a way that will bring their respect?
To go a bit further with this: when my life will end, and I will face my Heavenly father, will people tell him good things about me, would they defend me, or testify against me? Would i be able to keep my head up, and smile?
Reading the scriptures daily, praying daily, and staying for church services for three hours seem like very little things, sometimes overlooked in our rush to get our problems solved, or get our rest. We try to keep the seemingly bigger commandments, and soon get frustrated, tired, and weary. Then we start doing the little things, and the big things just fall into place, while we are filled with peace, and joy, and we can stand with our heads up, not ashamed of anything.
It's 2 AM, of course I'd be talking so much about nothings, so I should say :"Good night"
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